It is time to get a cell phone

Last week was my birthday and for the first time in years I wasn’t devastated and didn’t go into the bathroom and have a good cry. When you are a women in your late thirties dealing with infertility there is little crueler than the biological clock. We consulted with our first infertility specialist when I was 32 years old. At that time she was certain that we would be pregnant within a year. As the years passed and Brian and I met with specialist after specialist their upbeat prognosis began to change and words like “age” and “time” and “averages” began to appear more and more in the conversation. I’ve seen the pregnancy age versus success rate charts so many times, I could draw most of them with my eyes closed. Over time you begin to play a mental game with yourself “My birthday wish is to have a baby by my next birthday”. “My New Years wish is to have a baby this year.” I don’t know how many times I calculated the last possible date we could get pregnant in March or April and still have a baby born the same year and when that time passed, another year would be added to the count.

On Saturday along the same lines of getting older I had a bit of a scare, I had just finished eating breakfast and opened the front door to let our good friend, Matt, into the house. I was in the middle of answering his question when the next thing I knew he was magically on the other side of me, leaning down and saying that he had just called 911. Apparently, I had fainted and fallen backwards, hitting the side of the entrance chair seat and then the floor. Matt said he rolled me over to check if I was breathing and then called 911. They wanted to send an ambulance but I told them I would just go down to the emergency room. So, I spent most of my Saturday in the ER getting all types of tests done and contemplating my own mortality. I must have been asked if I was pregnant by at least six different people and for the first time in a long time I didn’t have to choke back tears and turn away at that question. I hate displaying emotion which is always a huge challenge when dealing with infertility. In the end the doctor couldn't identify what caused the fainting spell and chalked it up to stress and probably being dehydrated.

The good thing that has come of this is that Brian and I have both decided that it is time for us to bite the bullet and buy cell phones. We are probably the last two people on earth who work for IT and don’t have personal cell phones. We want to be available 24/7 in case there is news from India.

Several people recently have pointed out to us how lucky we are to be at the stage of researching our baby pick up and the necessary baby details and I couldn’t agree more. We are getting more and more excited every day. Last night we received an email from Dr. Samit with our 30 week ultrasound and details about getting our passport. It had lots of good information and we will post more about it soon.