Thank you so much for all your kind comments and emails. We have read all of them several times and are very touched. It means a great deal to Brian and I to know that there are so many wonderful people out there routing for us.
So far everything is progressing well. The HCG count rose from 112.54 miu on April 2nd to 605.42 miu on April 6th. Dr. Samit emailed and said that they will be doing the first ultrasound around April 16th.
I am excited and very, very scared. Most statistics say that once you get a good heartbeat, the chance of miscarriage goes down to less than 10%. Still, there have been so many setbacks and obstacles in our quest to have a baby that I have a hard time not expecting the worst. For us, ultrasounds have always brought about mixed feelings and hidden devastation. In the past, each time I got pregnant all indications would be of a healthy pregnancy, the HCG numbers would always rise, I always experience early onset morning sickness and at least for the first few pregnancies, the doctors would always assure us that the likelihood of miscarriage was very, very small. We would excitedly head in for the first real picture of our developing baby and sit in the waiting room surrounded by happily pregnant women. Finally, we would be called into the ultrasound room plastered with smiling healthy babies in various Anne Geddes poses. Invariably the smiling and chatty ultrasound technician would progressively become more quiet as the examination proceeded and eventually leave the room to get our doctor so that she could inform us about another missed miscarriage and plan a D&C. It got to the point where I began to really hate those smiling baby pictures.
I constantly have to remind myself that we have a young egg donor and beautiful surrogate who does not have the same health issues that I do. The problem is that it seems like once you've been inaugurated into the hidden and painful world of multiple miscarriage, I don't think you can ever look at a pregnancy without apprehension again.
Positive thoughts all the way from Australia!! We completely understand your fear of the ultrasound it is very daunting and we do not have your personal history of loss and grief... we hope this is your time!!
ReplyDeleteBig hug & keep your chin up and we look forward to great news, we will be thinking of you on the 16th!!
One day at a time and remember your chances get better every time you try. Bill and I keep telling eachother that it will happen if we keep moving forward. You've given us a lot of support...thank you and we are here for you!!! Like Will and Michael said, "chin up!"...looking forward to the next post. Big hug, D and B
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for a good progress report later this week.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I read another story of multiple miscarriages that precede this journey, my
heart breaks at the thought of past pain and disappointment. Us men haven't had that challenge but understand the road you have traveled.
The reason we all pursue surrogacy is to stack the odds in our favor…young donor, proven surrogate, and highly experienced medical care.
You are in good hands and on the road to your baby. We'll be watching for your next great update!
Good luck and warm regards!
I forget who said it, maybe it was Eckhardt Tolle in the Power of Now, but all we really have is the NOW, the present moment. Always live in the NOW and don't allow the anger of the past and the anxiety and fear of the future siphon away the joy you are currently experiencing in the present moment.
ReplyDeleteAmber and Brian, we too know this horrible history and if we ever were to get a positive would suffer the same aprehensions as you. All we can do is take it one day at at time, scan by scan and month by month. I feel optimistic that you are finally "there". You will be in my thoughts and prayers for the next 9 months.
ReplyDeleteFANTASTIC NEWS!!!! Could not be happier to read this!
ReplyDeleteWell said, Amber. It's hard to believe it until you are holding the baby in your hands. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping that things go flawlessly. I am so happy for you guys :)
ReplyDeleteYou will be fine. The more playmates around the country and the world the girls have, the more vacation spots for us to visit.
ReplyDeleteMike A.
Amber, I think that the harder you work for your pregnancy/baby, the more anxious you are about it. Just try to keep yourself busy so you don't obsess too much (I know--yeah, right!).
ReplyDeleteI am anxious to see pictures of you and Brian holding a baby in the next 8 months.
Hang in there!
I regret not following your blog these past months! Will be tuning in from now on! Sending lots of love & support your way. Everyone is pulling for you guys.
ReplyDeleteso i've spent the last 5+ hours reading, re-reading your blog and then reading other indian surrogacy blogs, can't help but sit here and ball my eyes out, laugh out loud and cherish each story in it's own unique way. this is beyond amazing!! thanks for sharing. i'm truly touched, inspired and awed by what i'm seeing on here. god bless you, all of you. hats off~
ReplyDeleteThinking of you guys today. Praying all goes well with the ultrasound. Can't wait to see pictures of your little one.
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness how wonderful. i have been searching for your blog as i couldn't remember the name and i am so glad i have finally found you. my surrogate was pregnant the same time as yours. your beta was 112 and mine was 100. i thought gee, these numbers are low but we still have a chance. and how great it will be to have a mate to sweat it out with as we would both be having birth around the same time. unfortunately, we didn't make it so i was so anxious to see how you made out. our second beta only went up to 200 and then dropped. we are gearing up to try again. meanwhile i am so very happy for you two. my prayers are with you
ReplyDeleteSweetie I know how you feel. I have experienced multiple miscarriages trying to carry on my own but this is what I tell myself "My desire to have a baby is greater than my fear of having another miscarriage." Right now things are looking good with your surrogate so no worries ;)
ReplyDelete